FACTORS AFFECTING SATISFACTION IN RELATIONSHIPS
March 19th 2008 16:24
Introduction
Most original Asian societies were traditional societies with families now slowly drifting away from joint families towards nuclear culture during past few decades. One single senior adult was the head of a family, strong bonding existed between two parents and the parents and the children, respect (and even fear) for the head of the family was without any questions, over-protection of girl child was a societal necessity, over-emphasis on education with an eventual aim of earning a livelihood in future existed and dominated most Asian societies in rural as well as even urban regions. With impact of economic globalization, cultural globalization also crept in and changed the dimensions of the society altogether. Slowly, pull factors like earning better salaries and higher quality of life or push factors like war, famine, chaos has resulted in many Africans and Asians seeking a career in the US (Jennifer West) and many other developed countries. But most immigrants have not been able to imbibe the free culture and open society prevailing in these countries. Newer generations have, with moderate success, tried to settle down in the new environment, but with a sense of misplaced priorities and even confusion as to what is right.
Aim
This paper aims to bring out certain cultural aspects which result in happier and mutually satisfied family relationships, particularly among Asian American people.
Aspects Affecting Relationships
Family Values. Traditional Asian family values like family harmony, fulfillment of obligations, emotional control etc. have to be respected and followed for nurturing any relationship among Asian-Americans. These values have held together dynasties in the past, large families together in the present and respect for these values will definitely go a long way towards ensuring relationship satisfaction in future.
Male Domination. Role of women in Asian societies has been that of someone who looks after the house. Women are looked upon favorably for taking blame and accepting sacrifice and suffering for overall betterment of a family. Their individual goals are secondary to the requirements of their families. While ‘feminism’ and ‘male chauvinism’ are popular terminologies in these countries’ media too, they are definitely not part of day to day lives. If the role of women here crosses a limit, this almost always results in disharmony, suspicion and even domestic violence or a break-up.
Family of Origin. Due to strong ethnic and traditional viewpoints, the family of origin matters and cross cultural relationship is still viewed with suspicion. While situation is fast changing in the urban regions of these countries, the rural and traditional regions are still following such value systems strictly. Hence, in cross cultural relationships among Asian Americans too, this aspect needs to be understood and the individual differences respected.
Religion No Bar. While religion per se is not an obstacle, but most family values have originated from religious teachings. Hence, respect for individual religions is a must and must be understood among those willing to interact with these societies.
Spiritualism. Most traditional Asians have spiritual outlook to life, which solves most of the differences immediately. However, compatibility between deeply spiritual and non-spiritual individuals is almost always a strict No-No. Or else it leads to differences of opinion on every small issue, and can even lead to different ways of life.
Mutual Respect for Each Other’s Parents, Goals, Values, Differences. Most Asian countries have flourished essentially through mutual respect for each-other’s backgrounds and people with conservative outlook have been generally the eventual losers. In relationships too, mutual respect for each-other’s parents, background, individual aspirations, inherited value systems and even differences would go a long way in ensuring harmony in relationships.
Commitment and Companionship. These two aspects have been the focal points towards ensuring flourishing relationships, and the same is true in most societies of the world. Eastern families have always flourished due to mutual commitment, commitment to the families and seeking companionships from each-other.
Financial Status. Although not mandatory, but financial independence does matter for either spouse towards maintaining a mutually respectable relationship. Normally, families with better financial status do tend to have more harmonious relationships than poverty-stricken families.
Friends’ Circles. It is generally seen that Asians prefer to have few closed circle friends rather than seek too many of them. Mutual, financial and cultural compatibilities normally form the basis for such friendships, which normally last the lifetime.
Sex or Love. It seems that Asian woman is looking more for feeling of being loved than pure lust. This is a universal phenomenon, but more so visible in Asian families due to spouse-dependent upbringing and suppressed upbringing of the women. A study in mainland China has revealed that while the role of women in sexual relationships in the past was that of child bearing and not pleasure as such, the recent decades have changed this aspect drastically both among most married and unmarried sexual relationships (Renaud, Byers and Pan, 1997).
Children. As is universally agreed upon, divorce rates reduce drastically after a couple of children even among Asian- Americans.
Conclusion
Traditional Asian-Americans share and honor their value systems. They have evolved to live, grow-up and survive in small compatible groups. This is more so in a society like America’s, where liberal mindset and free culture often lead to confusion in the minds of Asians as to which one is a better system of the two.
The irony of situation is such that with salary prospects improving in their parent countries, many Asians are returning back with a single mindset of raising their children, and particularly their daughters, in traditional ways than this open society.
This fact alone shows that despite staying in a foreign nation for decades, most traditional Asian-Americans have not been able to imbibe the cultural differences and freedom of society offered by the US.
Bibliography
1. Jennifer West. Role of Race and Ethnicity. 2003. Retrieved 14/12/2007 from Really Long Link
2. David Popenoe. 2002. 10 Myths of marriage. Retrieved 14/12/2007 from Really Long Link
3. Cheryl Renaud, E. Sandra Byers, Suiming Pan. 1997. The Journal of Sex Research, Vol. 34. Sexual and Relationship Satisfaction in Mainland China retrieved 14/12/2007 from Really Long Link 5000586524
Most original Asian societies were traditional societies with families now slowly drifting away from joint families towards nuclear culture during past few decades. One single senior adult was the head of a family, strong bonding existed between two parents and the parents and the children, respect (and even fear) for the head of the family was without any questions, over-protection of girl child was a societal necessity, over-emphasis on education with an eventual aim of earning a livelihood in future existed and dominated most Asian societies in rural as well as even urban regions. With impact of economic globalization, cultural globalization also crept in and changed the dimensions of the society altogether. Slowly, pull factors like earning better salaries and higher quality of life or push factors like war, famine, chaos has resulted in many Africans and Asians seeking a career in the US (Jennifer West) and many other developed countries. But most immigrants have not been able to imbibe the free culture and open society prevailing in these countries. Newer generations have, with moderate success, tried to settle down in the new environment, but with a sense of misplaced priorities and even confusion as to what is right.
Aim
This paper aims to bring out certain cultural aspects which result in happier and mutually satisfied family relationships, particularly among Asian American people.
Aspects Affecting Relationships
Family Values. Traditional Asian family values like family harmony, fulfillment of obligations, emotional control etc. have to be respected and followed for nurturing any relationship among Asian-Americans. These values have held together dynasties in the past, large families together in the present and respect for these values will definitely go a long way towards ensuring relationship satisfaction in future.
Male Domination. Role of women in Asian societies has been that of someone who looks after the house. Women are looked upon favorably for taking blame and accepting sacrifice and suffering for overall betterment of a family. Their individual goals are secondary to the requirements of their families. While ‘feminism’ and ‘male chauvinism’ are popular terminologies in these countries’ media too, they are definitely not part of day to day lives. If the role of women here crosses a limit, this almost always results in disharmony, suspicion and even domestic violence or a break-up.
Family of Origin. Due to strong ethnic and traditional viewpoints, the family of origin matters and cross cultural relationship is still viewed with suspicion. While situation is fast changing in the urban regions of these countries, the rural and traditional regions are still following such value systems strictly. Hence, in cross cultural relationships among Asian Americans too, this aspect needs to be understood and the individual differences respected.
Religion No Bar. While religion per se is not an obstacle, but most family values have originated from religious teachings. Hence, respect for individual religions is a must and must be understood among those willing to interact with these societies.
Spiritualism. Most traditional Asians have spiritual outlook to life, which solves most of the differences immediately. However, compatibility between deeply spiritual and non-spiritual individuals is almost always a strict No-No. Or else it leads to differences of opinion on every small issue, and can even lead to different ways of life.
Mutual Respect for Each Other’s Parents, Goals, Values, Differences. Most Asian countries have flourished essentially through mutual respect for each-other’s backgrounds and people with conservative outlook have been generally the eventual losers. In relationships too, mutual respect for each-other’s parents, background, individual aspirations, inherited value systems and even differences would go a long way in ensuring harmony in relationships.
Commitment and Companionship. These two aspects have been the focal points towards ensuring flourishing relationships, and the same is true in most societies of the world. Eastern families have always flourished due to mutual commitment, commitment to the families and seeking companionships from each-other.
Financial Status. Although not mandatory, but financial independence does matter for either spouse towards maintaining a mutually respectable relationship. Normally, families with better financial status do tend to have more harmonious relationships than poverty-stricken families.
Friends’ Circles. It is generally seen that Asians prefer to have few closed circle friends rather than seek too many of them. Mutual, financial and cultural compatibilities normally form the basis for such friendships, which normally last the lifetime.
Sex or Love. It seems that Asian woman is looking more for feeling of being loved than pure lust. This is a universal phenomenon, but more so visible in Asian families due to spouse-dependent upbringing and suppressed upbringing of the women. A study in mainland China has revealed that while the role of women in sexual relationships in the past was that of child bearing and not pleasure as such, the recent decades have changed this aspect drastically both among most married and unmarried sexual relationships (Renaud, Byers and Pan, 1997).
Children. As is universally agreed upon, divorce rates reduce drastically after a couple of children even among Asian- Americans.
Conclusion
Traditional Asian-Americans share and honor their value systems. They have evolved to live, grow-up and survive in small compatible groups. This is more so in a society like America’s, where liberal mindset and free culture often lead to confusion in the minds of Asians as to which one is a better system of the two.
The irony of situation is such that with salary prospects improving in their parent countries, many Asians are returning back with a single mindset of raising their children, and particularly their daughters, in traditional ways than this open society.
This fact alone shows that despite staying in a foreign nation for decades, most traditional Asian-Americans have not been able to imbibe the cultural differences and freedom of society offered by the US.
Bibliography
1. Jennifer West. Role of Race and Ethnicity. 2003. Retrieved 14/12/2007 from Really Long Link
2. David Popenoe. 2002. 10 Myths of marriage. Retrieved 14/12/2007 from Really Long Link
3. Cheryl Renaud, E. Sandra Byers, Suiming Pan. 1997. The Journal of Sex Research, Vol. 34. Sexual and Relationship Satisfaction in Mainland China retrieved 14/12/2007 from Really Long Link 5000586524
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